Protocol for First Group Meeting

Be sure you have all the pre-registration forms and that the space is set up appropriately. I prefer to have the group sit in a circle on back jacks and cushions on the floor as this facilitates  both closeness and movement.

Welcome each arrival and help them through the first awkward moments. Complete any unfinished registration details.

Help the group orient to the space, restrooms, water, time and schedule. Remind participants not to plan anything else during the intensive. Remember that taking time to orient always helps the nervous system settle.

There are several principles that help establish safety and group norms and ultimately make the work possible. Discuss each one until you are certain each participant understands it.

• No. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You are always given a choice and your preferences will be honored.

• Saying No. Participants are encouraged to listen to their inner knower and say no when appropriate. This includes when one is having a turn or supporting someone else. It is sometimes important to practice saying no.

• Don't. Clients are told not to touch another person without their permission. If you want to offer support, be sure you ask, have eye contact and then move slowly into their space. Be sure to demonstrate this principle, as it is new to most people. Our culture does not honor the boundaries of babies and children and we often touch and invade their space without permission. When boundaries are violated, we most often shut down and are not available for contact. Giving permission and staying present for contact is often healing and helps create healthy patterns of relating.

• Stop. The concept of stop or pause is critical to the safety of everyone in the group. Anyone who feels a need for any reason may ask the group and the entire process to pause or stop at any time. It is uncanny how effective this is and how appropriate the timing is. Be especially certain that all participants understand this and agree to use it when needed.

• Permission to take care of self. Participants are reminded to monitor  themselves regularly and take care of themselves. Bathroom breaks, asking for and receiving support, especially when someone else is working, making themselves generally comfortable and safe are integral to the success of the process for everyone. During the group, I continue to give participants lots of permission to take care of themselves, including sleep. This is surprising to many people, as most of us never had permission to really tune into and meet our own needs. Many were trained to suppress personal needs in order to please others. When given permission, people often sleep within the group circle during the work following their turn. I observe that much is going on during this time. The nervous system is often settling and integrating at a new level. I have had participants sleep through most of an entire weekend and report at the end that they received a tremendous amount from the group process.

• Don't leave. An important ground rule here is that participants should agree not to leave the group without telling one of the assistants or the therapist. Some people may want to run out of the room and/or leave the workshop when things become fearful or when they become unsettled–when things are brewing inside. It is important, for their safety and the sake of the group, that everyone agree not to leave without you knowing.

• Confidentiality. By signing the pre-registration information form, everyone has already agreed to hold everything within the group confidential. This means that they can talk to others about their own experience but they must get permission to talk about anyone else's experience. It is important to mention this again. I like to have everyone raise their hand so that the group can see that everyone has agreed to confidentiality.

The first session includes introductions. Participants are asked to, "state your name, something you would like the group to know about yourself (your work, home life, etc.), your purpose for taking the workshop and your intention or what you hope to receive from the workshop."